Thank Fuck. A Happy Blog.

Thats me done all my christmas shopping nat. Now im like:



Just get to look forward to paper hats, cold turkey, slade, bucks fizz, shit jokes from crackers and chewin the fat repeats.Fuckeen Yass.

Does this happen to everyone or are they taking the piss and scheming against me; When you buy something and your in a busy shop and the shop prick puts a note and reciept in your hand then piles a fuckin mountain of change on top of it , then says 'next over here please' , so youv then got to balance this copper mound on top of this paper with the thing you just bought in your other hand while the 'next over here' person is right behind you trying to make you drop it all so you spill pennies all over the joint and look like a fanny?



Merry Fucking Christmas.

Presents.

Everyones been asking mewhat they've to get me for christmas and i keep saying nothing , cause I dont want or need anything, it just makes them more pissed cause they feel they have to get something and im not helping out. So ive finally decided what i want. You know the strawberry dream ones in Roses, the ones everycunt eats first and you only get 1 if yer lucky. The stuff in the middle of them , strawberry stuff, thats what i want, at least 2 litres of it , doesnt matter how you get it , you can all sit with shit loads of boxes of roses and teaspoons and then it can be a joint present from everycunt i know.Just get it, somehow,Please.

Ben : Diary of a heroin addict

I watched this documentary today - its a series of cuts of video camera tapes that a heroin addict called Ben made - He took the camera about with him everywhere he went and ended up recording the last two years of his life. I know you think so fuck , just another junkie , exept hes got a camera, but it wasnt. He's a really nice guy and he doesnt want to be addicted but cant fight the addiction even though he trys. He talks to the camera alot and he has a feble little voice, sounds friendly and not like the usual junkies. Over the film it documents him slowly getting worse and worse and its sad as fuck cause he keeps talking about how he knows its happening but he cant stop. At the end it shows you how his mum and dad cant retire because they need to keep working to get money for him to live because hes nearly dead by this point and can hardly fucking move. His dads 71 and cant retire. The end clip shows you his face up to the camera in a dark room , fucked on heroin, he says i love you mum and i love you dad and im sorry for being such a loser, and he says hes sorry for his addiction. Then theres a black screen and it says the next day he checked into a drug rehab unit but within 24 hours he died from a brain hemorage cause d by withdrawl from drugs.His dad died 9 weeks later from cancer. It should be shown in schools. It made me think differently, cause before i just thought junkies are junkies and thats it , if you get the chance, watch it.

Christmas Trees

What the fuck? Actually never thought about that before, a tree, inside the house? Whats that got to do with anything? I mean santas clearly got fuckall to do with jesus and the religious side of christ mas. But then a tree as well, i think in planning world events somecunt just threw in a few mind benders for a laugh , fuck it, along with the jesus and that weeeee willll havveeeee........ A big fat guy wae a beard, doon the chimney........ Annnnddddd..... aaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnndddddddd...... a tree! in yer hoose.... aye thats it, naw, naw, naw wait. Ahaha just thought of a good yin , we put lights on the tree as well, aye. What yeh mean its stupit? I'll naw bother tellin yeez about the rabbit ive got planned fur easter then.

This is the word event planner:

Dear children.

SANTA IS NOT REAL.HAHA.

Whhhhhiiite Laaaaaaiiiinnns.

Visions, Dreams of passion.

Canny Fuckin Whack It.